I meant to post this the other night but time got away from me as it usually does. So life in the past year has been extremely busy and crazy. We have had a diagnosis of cancer, fought it, beat it, learned we were adding to our family, gotten closer to some people and more distanced from others.
I have struggled with a lot of what-ifs in the past few months and I try every day to get past them. When we found out about Ivy's stuff I was certain I was done having children. This scared the daylights out of me and I didn't want to have another child and possibly end up with worse things going on, shallow thinking I know, but it happened anyway. When we got through all of her stuff so easily I breathed a sigh of relief. I began rethinking that last child and apparently so did Brian. I figured he would shut me down in an instant but surprised me. Little did we know we would get pregnant so easily with this little guy.
After I found out I was pregnant I went back to worrying. Ivy's pregnancy was not easy by any means but that would not be an indicator for what she had. I just happened to have a rough pregnancy. Nausea, severe heartburn, bad gestational diabetes, extreme exhaustion...not fun at all. I wasn't necessasrily worried about all of this though. I figured it would be worth it to add to our family one final time.
What I worry about, is that there were no indications that anything was wrong. No ultrasounds picked it up, no blood work, nothing. Hers was miniscule compared to most with sacrococcygeal teratomas. But it didn't make it any easier. I constantly worry, what if Owen has this when he is born, what if something else is going on that has gone undetected, what if Ivy has a relapse while I'm pregnant or right after Owen is born? The list goes on but these are the main things that run through my mind.
I freak if I don't feel him move for long periods of time as he is an active little booger. I relax when I feel him wiggle all around again. I try to push all the what-ifs out of my mind and enjoy my last pregnancy but some days it isn't so easy. So if I seem quiet or off, you'll know I'm having one of those days. Or if I'm overly upbeat lol. Sometimes I like to compensate and make it seem like everything is perfectly fine and it really isn't. I don't normally complain on here but sometimes we all just need to vent!
Sisters Forever
Monday, June 2, 2014
Thursday, May 29, 2014
I really should do this more often...
I decided to look through my old posts tonight. I was horrified to see that my last one was on May 6th of last year. That was mine and Brian's 7th wedding anniversary lol. That wasn't why I was horrified. I scrolled through that post and realized I stated that Ivy could have faced chemo if her tumors had not been caught when they were. I guess we got too comfortable with the diagnosis of unlikely to return.
It is crazy to realize that just a year and 23 days ago we figured the hard part was behind us. We were wrong and I can't say that I would change it. Don't take that wrong. Did I want my 6 month old to have cancer and go through chemo? No, absolutely not. Did I want to sacrifice time with my family so that I could spend a ton of time at doctors offices and the hospital? Definitely not. But so many things happened in that time. We were changed, as individuals and as a family due to this experience. We learned to rely on others for help, especially our church family and a few close friends and relatives. We learned to focus on our family and our sweet girl's specific needs. Her older sisters became fiercely protective of her and are still rather close to her now. We became stronger in our faith. Yes, we did go through a rough experience, but it was nothing compared to what other families go through. We watched parents wrought with fear listen to doctors (no we didn't eavesdrop, we were perusing the halls and almost everyone kept doors open) tell them what the next step would be, if there was a next step. We learned of the passing of one of the patients up there, I took that one rather hard. I know the nurses had a really hard time with that one as well. I learned that while we were having a scary experience with our own child, it could have been much worse.
Ivy took everything like a champ. She rarely cried during the whole thing. She didn't even cry each time they accessed her port, even though I was ready to each time! She smiled constantly and was a little ball of energy. The nurses all adored her and would often steal her to take her on walks or over to the playroom. The staff at Levine and at Ivy's oncology office were/are one word: AMAZING!!! We could not have had a better experience.
When I sat down tonight I actually had no intention on going into detail on what we went through with Ivy. Most people who read this also keep up with her page and updates. It has been crazy around here so I haven't updated that page as much as I should. I'm going to sum up the year as quickly as I can and then maybe tomorrow I can get back to what I was originally going to write about!
So in the past year:
May was pretty uneventful. June: I could tell that Ivy was getting a little fussier but figured it was teething, she had a couple working their way in. July: I knew something wasn't right but I was determined it was nothing. August: We had her three month post-op ultrasound. It showed something abnormal so we went in for an MRI. The tumors were back but this time as one tumor, not several clustered together. But it was still in the same spot as the original ones. Chemo was suggested. September: We started chemo. Round one was three days but we were at the hospital for five days. Day one was port placement, day two was more tests and then started chemo that night. Day three and four was more chemo and day five we went home. We had round two in September as well, this one also caused her to need a blood transfusion. October: We had Ivy's last round of chemo. November: She was cancer-free! December: Next MRI and hearing test. All still looked good so the doctor and nurses celebrated and got Ivy a little gift! January: We found out we were going to have another baby (yes he was planned!). Ivy turned one! February: Next MRI, still clear!!! March: All blood work looks great, decide to schedule her next MRI four months out instead of three (would have happened in April instead of May). Two weeks of sickness, mainly in Ivy. April: We found out we are having a boy (more on that tomorrow). Blood work still looks fantastic. We have a whole month of sickness. We visited family in Florida! May: Next MRI and hearing test. STILL CLEAR!!! So now she is technically 6 months cancer free. WOOHOO!!!! She will go for blood work in July and then her next MRI in September (not long after Owen gets here). Sad that this is a brief summary lol.
It is crazy to realize that just a year and 23 days ago we figured the hard part was behind us. We were wrong and I can't say that I would change it. Don't take that wrong. Did I want my 6 month old to have cancer and go through chemo? No, absolutely not. Did I want to sacrifice time with my family so that I could spend a ton of time at doctors offices and the hospital? Definitely not. But so many things happened in that time. We were changed, as individuals and as a family due to this experience. We learned to rely on others for help, especially our church family and a few close friends and relatives. We learned to focus on our family and our sweet girl's specific needs. Her older sisters became fiercely protective of her and are still rather close to her now. We became stronger in our faith. Yes, we did go through a rough experience, but it was nothing compared to what other families go through. We watched parents wrought with fear listen to doctors (no we didn't eavesdrop, we were perusing the halls and almost everyone kept doors open) tell them what the next step would be, if there was a next step. We learned of the passing of one of the patients up there, I took that one rather hard. I know the nurses had a really hard time with that one as well. I learned that while we were having a scary experience with our own child, it could have been much worse.
Ivy took everything like a champ. She rarely cried during the whole thing. She didn't even cry each time they accessed her port, even though I was ready to each time! She smiled constantly and was a little ball of energy. The nurses all adored her and would often steal her to take her on walks or over to the playroom. The staff at Levine and at Ivy's oncology office were/are one word: AMAZING!!! We could not have had a better experience.
When I sat down tonight I actually had no intention on going into detail on what we went through with Ivy. Most people who read this also keep up with her page and updates. It has been crazy around here so I haven't updated that page as much as I should. I'm going to sum up the year as quickly as I can and then maybe tomorrow I can get back to what I was originally going to write about!
So in the past year:
May was pretty uneventful. June: I could tell that Ivy was getting a little fussier but figured it was teething, she had a couple working their way in. July: I knew something wasn't right but I was determined it was nothing. August: We had her three month post-op ultrasound. It showed something abnormal so we went in for an MRI. The tumors were back but this time as one tumor, not several clustered together. But it was still in the same spot as the original ones. Chemo was suggested. September: We started chemo. Round one was three days but we were at the hospital for five days. Day one was port placement, day two was more tests and then started chemo that night. Day three and four was more chemo and day five we went home. We had round two in September as well, this one also caused her to need a blood transfusion. October: We had Ivy's last round of chemo. November: She was cancer-free! December: Next MRI and hearing test. All still looked good so the doctor and nurses celebrated and got Ivy a little gift! January: We found out we were going to have another baby (yes he was planned!). Ivy turned one! February: Next MRI, still clear!!! March: All blood work looks great, decide to schedule her next MRI four months out instead of three (would have happened in April instead of May). Two weeks of sickness, mainly in Ivy. April: We found out we are having a boy (more on that tomorrow). Blood work still looks fantastic. We have a whole month of sickness. We visited family in Florida! May: Next MRI and hearing test. STILL CLEAR!!! So now she is technically 6 months cancer free. WOOHOO!!!! She will go for blood work in July and then her next MRI in September (not long after Owen gets here). Sad that this is a brief summary lol.
Monday, May 6, 2013
Many Blessings
As some of you know so many things had to happen in order for Brian and I to meet. I had been looking at colleges out of state and decided to stay in-state due to the cost of tuition. I went to work at the Factory right out of high school and met Jen a couple years later. She was dating Brian's brother Mike and we were all going to college together. I had told her that if she ever needed a ride to see Mike in Dallas (NC not Texas!) over the summer break that I would take her. Lo and behold, not a week later Brian wrecked his motorcycle and I drove her over there. Her poor car wouldn't make it...we used to call it the Singer because it sounded like an out of whack sewing machine! This was the first time Brian and I met. We got along great. Only problem was, he was engaged to someone else at the time. Brian knew he was in the wrong relationship before we even met but didn't know how to get out. I gave him two weeks (We talked in that two weeks but that was it.), after that I wasn't waiting. If he wasn't going to leave her in that two weeks then we didn't need to be together. Two weeks to the day he broke it off. Four months after we started dating we were engaged, six months later we were married, four months later we were pregnant with Ava. Yeah, we've been told we were moving too fast. Honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way. We have had a lot of things go wrong over the years but never our relationship. We laugh, cry, work through problems and get along better than a lot of couples I know. In a three year time span we started dating, got married, and had two of our three daughters.
Ava and Ella had been the picture of perfect health from birth. Ava's biggest illness didn't come until she was almost three and they thought she was going into kidney failure. Turned out it was a combination of many things and her kidneys have functioned fine since. We have to watch her sugar intake and dairy intake from time to time but I'll take it! Ella's biggest illness was at three months old when she had whooping cough. For six months we got to hear that horrible cough and she had to sleep elevated. We went through three swings in that time and had quite a time getting her transitioned back to her crib at nine months old.
Then came Ivy lol. This little one was our troublemaker from the beginning! I was sick the entire pregnancy, had heart burn the whole time, and had gestational diabetes quite a bit worse than with Ella. All of her ultrasounds looked normal. Then her birth...well that took quite a bit longer than any of us thought but I won't complain, I went through much longer with Ava!
My sister found the lump on Ivy's backside first. Then she pointed it out to the nurses and suddenly we had doctors and nurses gathering around whispering and looking her over. Talk about scary. I was freaking out and going through shock from my epidural, no fun at all there. We were told that it was just a fluid filled sac and she should be seen by a neuro surgeon as soon as possible. A week and a half or so later we saw the neuro surgeon for a whopping 5 minutes. He took one look at it, said she needed an MRI at 6 months old and wouldn't answer any questions until then. He swore he had seen so many cysts like this and removed them all the time and it doesn't bother her. BALONEY!!!! My child screamed every time we changed a poopy diaper and any time she was in her swing, bouncy seat or car seat. She always slept on her side because sleeping on her back put too much pressure on her backside.
At her two month visit her pediatrician did not like how it looked, feeling it was becoming abscessed. So he had me take her to the Levine Children's Hospital ER immediately. I quickly picked up my other two, called my mom hysterical, and let Brian know he needed to come home (he was in Michigan). Five doctors later we see a doctor from the neuro surgeons office. She told me that there was nothing wrong and she could have an MRI the next week if I was that concerned about it. I insisted we do it right then, and for those of you who know me, I do not do confrontation well. I normally let things slide. But this time I felt that my pediatrician was on to something.
Long story short, I'm glad I insisted. It turns out she had not just the cyst on the outside but what they thought was a plum sized one on the inside pressing on her colon. It was actually several smaller ones on the inside. And then we found out that she has Sacrococcygeal Teratoma, which is a form of cancer. Thank the Lord we caught it in time, the one tumor that was malignant had the markings in the middle so they were able to get it all and only left a few "germ cells", as they called them, behind. Essentially that means that it could come back, but for now we are just closely monitoring her and she will only have to do chemotherapy if the tumors return. When I think back to the other neuro surgeon we saw at the ER I want to scream. What if I had waited until she was 6 months old like originally planned? What if I had not insisted on the MRI then? What if we had not had such a great pediatric surgeon who would not let us leave the hospital until he knew what was going on for sure and could give us an answer? God has been so good to us. If He had not been there with me to stand my ground then Ivy could have been facing chemotherapy at 6 or 7 months old when they decided to extract the tumors. That makes me sick to even think about! And I just want to give a big thank you to everyone who shared our statuses and prayed for us as we went through all of this. Ivy is a much happier baby now and hardly ever cries in her car seat anymore. I feel like the worst is now behind us!
Ava and Ella had been the picture of perfect health from birth. Ava's biggest illness didn't come until she was almost three and they thought she was going into kidney failure. Turned out it was a combination of many things and her kidneys have functioned fine since. We have to watch her sugar intake and dairy intake from time to time but I'll take it! Ella's biggest illness was at three months old when she had whooping cough. For six months we got to hear that horrible cough and she had to sleep elevated. We went through three swings in that time and had quite a time getting her transitioned back to her crib at nine months old.
Then came Ivy lol. This little one was our troublemaker from the beginning! I was sick the entire pregnancy, had heart burn the whole time, and had gestational diabetes quite a bit worse than with Ella. All of her ultrasounds looked normal. Then her birth...well that took quite a bit longer than any of us thought but I won't complain, I went through much longer with Ava!
My sister found the lump on Ivy's backside first. Then she pointed it out to the nurses and suddenly we had doctors and nurses gathering around whispering and looking her over. Talk about scary. I was freaking out and going through shock from my epidural, no fun at all there. We were told that it was just a fluid filled sac and she should be seen by a neuro surgeon as soon as possible. A week and a half or so later we saw the neuro surgeon for a whopping 5 minutes. He took one look at it, said she needed an MRI at 6 months old and wouldn't answer any questions until then. He swore he had seen so many cysts like this and removed them all the time and it doesn't bother her. BALONEY!!!! My child screamed every time we changed a poopy diaper and any time she was in her swing, bouncy seat or car seat. She always slept on her side because sleeping on her back put too much pressure on her backside.
At her two month visit her pediatrician did not like how it looked, feeling it was becoming abscessed. So he had me take her to the Levine Children's Hospital ER immediately. I quickly picked up my other two, called my mom hysterical, and let Brian know he needed to come home (he was in Michigan). Five doctors later we see a doctor from the neuro surgeons office. She told me that there was nothing wrong and she could have an MRI the next week if I was that concerned about it. I insisted we do it right then, and for those of you who know me, I do not do confrontation well. I normally let things slide. But this time I felt that my pediatrician was on to something.
Long story short, I'm glad I insisted. It turns out she had not just the cyst on the outside but what they thought was a plum sized one on the inside pressing on her colon. It was actually several smaller ones on the inside. And then we found out that she has Sacrococcygeal Teratoma, which is a form of cancer. Thank the Lord we caught it in time, the one tumor that was malignant had the markings in the middle so they were able to get it all and only left a few "germ cells", as they called them, behind. Essentially that means that it could come back, but for now we are just closely monitoring her and she will only have to do chemotherapy if the tumors return. When I think back to the other neuro surgeon we saw at the ER I want to scream. What if I had waited until she was 6 months old like originally planned? What if I had not insisted on the MRI then? What if we had not had such a great pediatric surgeon who would not let us leave the hospital until he knew what was going on for sure and could give us an answer? God has been so good to us. If He had not been there with me to stand my ground then Ivy could have been facing chemotherapy at 6 or 7 months old when they decided to extract the tumors. That makes me sick to even think about! And I just want to give a big thank you to everyone who shared our statuses and prayed for us as we went through all of this. Ivy is a much happier baby now and hardly ever cries in her car seat anymore. I feel like the worst is now behind us!
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Oh baby!
So as I sit to write this our newest addition is kicking the end of the laptop. She does not appreciate anything being remotely close to my stomach aside from clothing. And for those of you who missed it, yes I said she! Lord help Brian he is even more so outnumbered now! Miss Ivy Paige Riddle should be here in roughly 17 1/2 weeks and I am ready lol.
I remember when we were trying to get pregnant I told Brian that I really wanted a pregnancy I could enjoy, one that I could remember most of the details, that sort of thing. Boy did I stick my foot in it. With Ava I was very energetic, got sick one time, went to school full-time, worked full-time and had energy to spare...the whole pregnancy. With Ella I was pretty much the same way just add in a baby already at home. This time around, I have been sick the whole time, I have zero energy and I am moody all the time. I am just ready to be done at this point! This is the last pregnancy for me, my OCD can get over the odd number!
I have found that Ivy has a bit of her sisters in her already which makes me laugh. She is very active just like Ava always was. However, she hates noise just as Ella always did. She can move around all day long and be happy, until someone comes up to my stomach and starts talking right where she is or puts music on my belly. She does not appreciate either. She will stop whatever she was doing and just sit there. As soon as the person or music moves, she will move all over again. It is interesting to see bits of the girls personalities in her already, before she is even born. Brian really is in for it!
Going into the ultrasound nearly two weeks ago to find out what we were having was exciting and nerve wracking. First of all, we have tried to involve the girls as much as possible in this pregnancy so we let them come to the ultrasound. I'm pretty sure the technician has an appointment next week to get her tubes tied (she currently only has one child). Ella was concerned about the head size, but seeing as she was watching the ultrasound on a big screen tv, the baby's head looked ginormous! Ava switched back and forth from asking every question under the sun to asking me if I was doing okay. The night before the ultrasound I finally had what you would call a mother's intuition as to the gender of the baby. I had never had that with the girls. But I told Brian that I was almost 100% definite that we were having another girl, he felt the same way. So when the image went to between Ivy's legs we knew. Of course Ivy was very proud of her girl parts, which I will say differs from her sisters. With Ava, they were only 96% sure she was a girl in the first ultrasound we had to find out the gender, it was later confirmed 100% at the 3D ultrasound. With Ella, we spent 45 minutes trying to get her to uncross her legs. I ended up having to sit with my legs "criss-cross applesauce" as the girls call it and drink a few sips of Coke. That helped, we went back in and found out immediately she was a girl. Ivy, on the other hand, let us know as soon as the technician got to that part of the ultrasound.
I think I was more nervous about having a boy than another girl. I know my girls. We have all girl stuff in our house. There is pink and purple stuff everywhere! So when we found out it was another girl I think we were both sighing in relief, even though I know Brian kind of wanted a little boy. Ava was happy, even though she really wanted a brother and Ella was ecstatic. She has wanted another sister all along. I love the people who tell us that we need to try one more time for a boy. I'm sorry but if we have had girls the past three times, what makes you think number four will come out any different? Ha! We will stick with three thank you! We will leave the task of boys to Brian's siblings and my sister (much later in life for my sister lol).
I remember when we were trying to get pregnant I told Brian that I really wanted a pregnancy I could enjoy, one that I could remember most of the details, that sort of thing. Boy did I stick my foot in it. With Ava I was very energetic, got sick one time, went to school full-time, worked full-time and had energy to spare...the whole pregnancy. With Ella I was pretty much the same way just add in a baby already at home. This time around, I have been sick the whole time, I have zero energy and I am moody all the time. I am just ready to be done at this point! This is the last pregnancy for me, my OCD can get over the odd number!
I have found that Ivy has a bit of her sisters in her already which makes me laugh. She is very active just like Ava always was. However, she hates noise just as Ella always did. She can move around all day long and be happy, until someone comes up to my stomach and starts talking right where she is or puts music on my belly. She does not appreciate either. She will stop whatever she was doing and just sit there. As soon as the person or music moves, she will move all over again. It is interesting to see bits of the girls personalities in her already, before she is even born. Brian really is in for it!
Going into the ultrasound nearly two weeks ago to find out what we were having was exciting and nerve wracking. First of all, we have tried to involve the girls as much as possible in this pregnancy so we let them come to the ultrasound. I'm pretty sure the technician has an appointment next week to get her tubes tied (she currently only has one child). Ella was concerned about the head size, but seeing as she was watching the ultrasound on a big screen tv, the baby's head looked ginormous! Ava switched back and forth from asking every question under the sun to asking me if I was doing okay. The night before the ultrasound I finally had what you would call a mother's intuition as to the gender of the baby. I had never had that with the girls. But I told Brian that I was almost 100% definite that we were having another girl, he felt the same way. So when the image went to between Ivy's legs we knew. Of course Ivy was very proud of her girl parts, which I will say differs from her sisters. With Ava, they were only 96% sure she was a girl in the first ultrasound we had to find out the gender, it was later confirmed 100% at the 3D ultrasound. With Ella, we spent 45 minutes trying to get her to uncross her legs. I ended up having to sit with my legs "criss-cross applesauce" as the girls call it and drink a few sips of Coke. That helped, we went back in and found out immediately she was a girl. Ivy, on the other hand, let us know as soon as the technician got to that part of the ultrasound.
I think I was more nervous about having a boy than another girl. I know my girls. We have all girl stuff in our house. There is pink and purple stuff everywhere! So when we found out it was another girl I think we were both sighing in relief, even though I know Brian kind of wanted a little boy. Ava was happy, even though she really wanted a brother and Ella was ecstatic. She has wanted another sister all along. I love the people who tell us that we need to try one more time for a boy. I'm sorry but if we have had girls the past three times, what makes you think number four will come out any different? Ha! We will stick with three thank you! We will leave the task of boys to Brian's siblings and my sister (much later in life for my sister lol).
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Naming Baby
With the third baby on the way we have had a very hard time coming up with a name we both like. I will like one name and Brian will like another but of course they don't go together so we can't compromise there either! It wasn't always this difficult lol. With Ava, she was always Ava Grace. I had loved the name Grace since before Brian and I met. I always wanted to name a daughter Grace. When my cousin Chrissi was pregnant with her last child she threw out the name Ava Grace to her husband. I realized I loved the name Ava and it went great with Grace! I was secretly doing the happy dance when he shot the name down. So when they had their little girl and named her something completely different I knew Ava Grace was fair game! By this time Brian and I were dating and had talked about our future and kids and such. I told him I liked the name Ava Grace and he was completely on board. We also loved the name Connor, the middle name was up for debate though. So when we found out we were pregnant the first time and then found out the baby was a girl we automatically knew her name would be Ava Grace. And no other name would suit that child.
Ella, on the other hand, proved to be a bit more difficult. Once again we stuck with Connor if the baby was a boy but for a girl we had actually picked out Chloe Faith. I had always liked Chloe and Faith was a double meaning. Our goddaughter's name is Faith so we were wanting to use it for that reason as well as the fact that Ava's middle name was Grace so it went well together. We got halfway through the pregnancy when Brian realized he didn't care for Chloe Faith. So while watching Ella Enchanted (silly movie but still cute) we both came to the conclusion that Ella would be great! So she was Ella Faith, for a couple of days. That was when people started calling to ask us if we realized we were naming our child Elephant. Well dangit we didn't think of it and now I was flustered. So then we changed the middle name to Paige, until we thought about the meaning of her name and didn't care for it. So somehow we came up with Kate and it stuck. And yet again, no other name would suit that child.
Now, here we are just three days away from finding out what this little one is going to be and once again we can't agree on a name! I love Mia Paige. It is very feminine, flows with the girls names, etc. Brian, on the other hand, likes Liberty Paige (I hate this one by the way). So we did a poll on Facebook, something we swore we would never do lol. And so far I am winning that battle. And for a boy, Ava wants Connor William, which is not a bad name at all. It is just really long unlike the girls names. We like Ian Conor as well. The first name starts with a vowel and is short like the girls names. So far I think that one is tied or close to it with Connor William on the poll.
We will find out on Friday what we are having and I have to say, I can't wait to call this baby something other than "baby," "it," or my personal favorite, "Para." Yes there is meaning behind the name Para. When I was going through my first trimester I was sick as a dog, constantly. So I took to calling the baby (affectionately) my little Para Site. Yes, I spelled it that way on purpose. Both of our girls' first names end in an "a", both their middle names end in an "e", and their first and middle names together equals 8 letters. No, we didn't realize this when we were choosing Ella's name, that was a fluke. But now we are trying to do something similar which is where Mia Paige completely works, and was once again a fluke. I happened to love Mia and Brian really liked Paige. They flow together well and comes out like the girls names. And so does Para Site lol, which is why it is spelled as it is. But don't worry, this child will not be named Para Site as a real name!
Now can you see why we have resorted to the name poll online? Haha! Most people don't get so technical when it comes to their children's names and I know it is dorky, but it is who I am!
Ella, on the other hand, proved to be a bit more difficult. Once again we stuck with Connor if the baby was a boy but for a girl we had actually picked out Chloe Faith. I had always liked Chloe and Faith was a double meaning. Our goddaughter's name is Faith so we were wanting to use it for that reason as well as the fact that Ava's middle name was Grace so it went well together. We got halfway through the pregnancy when Brian realized he didn't care for Chloe Faith. So while watching Ella Enchanted (silly movie but still cute) we both came to the conclusion that Ella would be great! So she was Ella Faith, for a couple of days. That was when people started calling to ask us if we realized we were naming our child Elephant. Well dangit we didn't think of it and now I was flustered. So then we changed the middle name to Paige, until we thought about the meaning of her name and didn't care for it. So somehow we came up with Kate and it stuck. And yet again, no other name would suit that child.
Now, here we are just three days away from finding out what this little one is going to be and once again we can't agree on a name! I love Mia Paige. It is very feminine, flows with the girls names, etc. Brian, on the other hand, likes Liberty Paige (I hate this one by the way). So we did a poll on Facebook, something we swore we would never do lol. And so far I am winning that battle. And for a boy, Ava wants Connor William, which is not a bad name at all. It is just really long unlike the girls names. We like Ian Conor as well. The first name starts with a vowel and is short like the girls names. So far I think that one is tied or close to it with Connor William on the poll.
We will find out on Friday what we are having and I have to say, I can't wait to call this baby something other than "baby," "it," or my personal favorite, "Para." Yes there is meaning behind the name Para. When I was going through my first trimester I was sick as a dog, constantly. So I took to calling the baby (affectionately) my little Para Site. Yes, I spelled it that way on purpose. Both of our girls' first names end in an "a", both their middle names end in an "e", and their first and middle names together equals 8 letters. No, we didn't realize this when we were choosing Ella's name, that was a fluke. But now we are trying to do something similar which is where Mia Paige completely works, and was once again a fluke. I happened to love Mia and Brian really liked Paige. They flow together well and comes out like the girls names. And so does Para Site lol, which is why it is spelled as it is. But don't worry, this child will not be named Para Site as a real name!
Now can you see why we have resorted to the name poll online? Haha! Most people don't get so technical when it comes to their children's names and I know it is dorky, but it is who I am!
Thursday, July 12, 2012
So Much Has Happened...
Okay so I know that everyone has figured out by now that we are expecting another baby come February of 2013. Only about five people actually knew we were trying. It was something we were keeping to ourselves and we liked it that way. We actually kept the pregnancy itself a secret for a couple of weeks as well. This adventure is terrifying but exciting all at the same time. We haven't had a baby (to stay more than a night) in our house in four years! We got rid of all our baby stuff except a crib, mattress, the sheets (since the girls used toddler beds for years), and sippy cups. As far as I knew, we were done. Brian was dead set against having anymore children and so I had resigned myself to that fact. I got rid of all the baby stuff to get out any reminders. As a matter of fact, up until about 5 months ago the crib was being used by my brother-in-law so it wasn't even in the house.
Over the years I bugged Brian about having more children. I wanted two more. I like round numbers and had loved the idea of four children. Brian was done, children are expensive and Ella was a rough baby. We were spoiled with Ava, she was the poster child for your first baby. She was quiet, laid back, didn't want to be held all the time. Ella was the complete opposite (and still is). I started asking him about more kids when Ella was almost two. Of course I got a very resounding no on that one! I would give up for a while and say that I didn't want anymore either. It was upsetting but I was trying hard to convince myself so I wouldn't get depressed about the idea of no more children.
I gave up the fight for a few months, especially while Brian was in New Jersey. No point in arguing about something you can't even achieve considering your significant other is a few hundred miles away! But after he came home last November I was feeling the baby bug in a bad way. It didn't help that several of my friends were finding out they were pregnant around this time.
Brian has always said that when we are in a difficult situation that we always manage to make our way through it. I finally asked him while we were in Franklin in November why he thought we couldn't make another baby work for our family. If we can get through other situations, why not one that will bring happiness? He didn't have a good answer. He finally bargained with me that we could think about one more, but only one more. I figured I'd wear him down later and get that last one that I wanted. I let it go for a while and then near the end of December I brought it up and gave it up just as quick when he said he didn't want anymore yet. Then suddenly in January of this year he floored me. He decided he wanted another baby. I didn't believe him. I told him that he didn't need to say that just to make me happy. I didn't want him to resent me or the baby later on because he didn't really want this. It took him a couple weeks to convince me before I agreed to start trying. Throughout that process I was still apprehensive that he had given in for all the wrong reasons. It was when we found out we were pregnant on June 1st that I realized he was truly excited. He beamed from ear to ear when I told him the test was positive and he wanted to call people right away. I was a little more terrified haha. My mind went to "Oh lordy we really are going to do this again."
I will say that Brian is getting his way as far as only one more child goes. I have been so sick this time around that I refuse to do a pregnancy again. If we decide to add to our family later, we will adopt! For now, I am trying to enjoy my pregnancy, even with the all day sickness that this one has rained down upon me. I am crossing my fingers that that goes away in the next couple weeks as we hit the second trimester! Sorry this was so long...had to get all of that out!
Over the years I bugged Brian about having more children. I wanted two more. I like round numbers and had loved the idea of four children. Brian was done, children are expensive and Ella was a rough baby. We were spoiled with Ava, she was the poster child for your first baby. She was quiet, laid back, didn't want to be held all the time. Ella was the complete opposite (and still is). I started asking him about more kids when Ella was almost two. Of course I got a very resounding no on that one! I would give up for a while and say that I didn't want anymore either. It was upsetting but I was trying hard to convince myself so I wouldn't get depressed about the idea of no more children.
I gave up the fight for a few months, especially while Brian was in New Jersey. No point in arguing about something you can't even achieve considering your significant other is a few hundred miles away! But after he came home last November I was feeling the baby bug in a bad way. It didn't help that several of my friends were finding out they were pregnant around this time.
Brian has always said that when we are in a difficult situation that we always manage to make our way through it. I finally asked him while we were in Franklin in November why he thought we couldn't make another baby work for our family. If we can get through other situations, why not one that will bring happiness? He didn't have a good answer. He finally bargained with me that we could think about one more, but only one more. I figured I'd wear him down later and get that last one that I wanted. I let it go for a while and then near the end of December I brought it up and gave it up just as quick when he said he didn't want anymore yet. Then suddenly in January of this year he floored me. He decided he wanted another baby. I didn't believe him. I told him that he didn't need to say that just to make me happy. I didn't want him to resent me or the baby later on because he didn't really want this. It took him a couple weeks to convince me before I agreed to start trying. Throughout that process I was still apprehensive that he had given in for all the wrong reasons. It was when we found out we were pregnant on June 1st that I realized he was truly excited. He beamed from ear to ear when I told him the test was positive and he wanted to call people right away. I was a little more terrified haha. My mind went to "Oh lordy we really are going to do this again."
I will say that Brian is getting his way as far as only one more child goes. I have been so sick this time around that I refuse to do a pregnancy again. If we decide to add to our family later, we will adopt! For now, I am trying to enjoy my pregnancy, even with the all day sickness that this one has rained down upon me. I am crossing my fingers that that goes away in the next couple weeks as we hit the second trimester! Sorry this was so long...had to get all of that out!
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Catching Up!
Okay I have figured out that I am horrible at this whole blogging thing! I haven't been on here in quite some time. Not a whole lot has gone on since October besides that the girls got sick again and then got sick AGAIN. Late Fall/Early Winter is evil in our house. Ava loves school but at the same time she acts like when she gets home she can't get enough of workbook pages. She absolutely loves doing them! Ella likes doing them so long as Ava is but otherwise couldn't seem to care less.
In the time since I have been on here my best friend has found out that she is having a girl and I am so excited for her! She has wanted a little girl for as long as I can remember...and for those of you who know me well know that I can remember a lot things. I got to go to Bree's ultrasound that day, I haven't been to someone else's ultrasound before, it was kind of neat to see everything in her eyes. The day was bitter sweet as we got home that morning to my mother calling to say my Grandmother had passed away. It had been a long time coming and wasn't that much of a surprise but it was still upsetting all the same. I was glad that I got to say goodbye but I hated seeing her as she was.
Also, Brian's job has gotten a whole lot better as well. Now he is home every single weekend and is only gone every other week from late Sunday afternoon to late Friday afternoon. I can handle 10 days away per month rather than 28! I love that he is home every weekend. I still catch myself checkin the calendar to see if he will be in that weekend. It is sad I know but it is what we got used to. I have to say that if I didn't have such an independent streak this past year would have been horrible.
Now there are a lot of things going on around me that I don't totally agree with and some are really upsetting me but I have to say that I am not going to let it get in the way of me living my life with my family to the fullest extent.
Oh yeah and did I mention I feel old? My ten year reunion is coming up and kids I used to babysit are entering high school and college. Yep...definitely starting to feel old. I did like that a staff member at the high school thought I was a student here recently. That made me feel good, at least until someone pointed out that I was no longer a student and hadn't been in quite some time. Thanks, I appreciate that lol.
Here's to a great year ahead of us!
In the time since I have been on here my best friend has found out that she is having a girl and I am so excited for her! She has wanted a little girl for as long as I can remember...and for those of you who know me well know that I can remember a lot things. I got to go to Bree's ultrasound that day, I haven't been to someone else's ultrasound before, it was kind of neat to see everything in her eyes. The day was bitter sweet as we got home that morning to my mother calling to say my Grandmother had passed away. It had been a long time coming and wasn't that much of a surprise but it was still upsetting all the same. I was glad that I got to say goodbye but I hated seeing her as she was.
Also, Brian's job has gotten a whole lot better as well. Now he is home every single weekend and is only gone every other week from late Sunday afternoon to late Friday afternoon. I can handle 10 days away per month rather than 28! I love that he is home every weekend. I still catch myself checkin the calendar to see if he will be in that weekend. It is sad I know but it is what we got used to. I have to say that if I didn't have such an independent streak this past year would have been horrible.
Now there are a lot of things going on around me that I don't totally agree with and some are really upsetting me but I have to say that I am not going to let it get in the way of me living my life with my family to the fullest extent.
Oh yeah and did I mention I feel old? My ten year reunion is coming up and kids I used to babysit are entering high school and college. Yep...definitely starting to feel old. I did like that a staff member at the high school thought I was a student here recently. That made me feel good, at least until someone pointed out that I was no longer a student and hadn't been in quite some time. Thanks, I appreciate that lol.
Here's to a great year ahead of us!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)