Okay so I know that everyone has figured out by now that we are expecting another baby come February of 2013. Only about five people actually knew we were trying. It was something we were keeping to ourselves and we liked it that way. We actually kept the pregnancy itself a secret for a couple of weeks as well. This adventure is terrifying but exciting all at the same time. We haven't had a baby (to stay more than a night) in our house in four years! We got rid of all our baby stuff except a crib, mattress, the sheets (since the girls used toddler beds for years), and sippy cups. As far as I knew, we were done. Brian was dead set against having anymore children and so I had resigned myself to that fact. I got rid of all the baby stuff to get out any reminders. As a matter of fact, up until about 5 months ago the crib was being used by my brother-in-law so it wasn't even in the house.
Over the years I bugged Brian about having more children. I wanted two more. I like round numbers and had loved the idea of four children. Brian was done, children are expensive and Ella was a rough baby. We were spoiled with Ava, she was the poster child for your first baby. She was quiet, laid back, didn't want to be held all the time. Ella was the complete opposite (and still is). I started asking him about more kids when Ella was almost two. Of course I got a very resounding no on that one! I would give up for a while and say that I didn't want anymore either. It was upsetting but I was trying hard to convince myself so I wouldn't get depressed about the idea of no more children.
I gave up the fight for a few months, especially while Brian was in New Jersey. No point in arguing about something you can't even achieve considering your significant other is a few hundred miles away! But after he came home last November I was feeling the baby bug in a bad way. It didn't help that several of my friends were finding out they were pregnant around this time.
Brian has always said that when we are in a difficult situation that we always manage to make our way through it. I finally asked him while we were in Franklin in November why he thought we couldn't make another baby work for our family. If we can get through other situations, why not one that will bring happiness? He didn't have a good answer. He finally bargained with me that we could think about one more, but only one more. I figured I'd wear him down later and get that last one that I wanted. I let it go for a while and then near the end of December I brought it up and gave it up just as quick when he said he didn't want anymore yet. Then suddenly in January of this year he floored me. He decided he wanted another baby. I didn't believe him. I told him that he didn't need to say that just to make me happy. I didn't want him to resent me or the baby later on because he didn't really want this. It took him a couple weeks to convince me before I agreed to start trying. Throughout that process I was still apprehensive that he had given in for all the wrong reasons. It was when we found out we were pregnant on June 1st that I realized he was truly excited. He beamed from ear to ear when I told him the test was positive and he wanted to call people right away. I was a little more terrified haha. My mind went to "Oh lordy we really are going to do this again."
I will say that Brian is getting his way as far as only one more child goes. I have been so sick this time around that I refuse to do a pregnancy again. If we decide to add to our family later, we will adopt! For now, I am trying to enjoy my pregnancy, even with the all day sickness that this one has rained down upon me. I am crossing my fingers that that goes away in the next couple weeks as we hit the second trimester! Sorry this was so long...had to get all of that out!
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